Manic Monday

The motivation got sucked out of me, the backs of my eyes feel dry (or is it wet?), there’s a feeling of pressure in my throat and I keep eating the chocolate out of the jar on my desk that’s meant for clients. I do not want to be here, I cannot make myself be here, mentally. I push the “next blog” button incessantly, like a gambler who can’t give up shooting craps. The internet is the ultimate in vices for the afflicted procrastinator. God dammit.

There is this absolutely crazy guy who comes in here, a real case of hard luck. Or maybe more like a case of you make your own fate. Guy’s been to prison several times, has some substance abuse problems and is totally mentally unstable. He likes to get in fights and break into houses and yell at people and he doesn’t always speak in a way that’s lucid. But he and I get along fine. My boss just told me that I’m the only caseworker that he’s ever gotten along with here, and he’s been a client since 1988. (One more coat of varnish on my ego.) What’s my secret? Regardless of whether or not I can understand what he’s saying to me, I treat him like he’s human. I give him my attention, I give him help when I can, and I don’t back down when he pushes me into a corner. (Testing the boundaries, right? I am just as able to set them as he is.) So now when I see him coming in, I don’t dread it (like so many before me), I actually secretly look forward to it because he’s so crazy that you never quite know what he’s going to ask for, or what he’ll comment on. Why would anyone act civil if there is no expectation that they will? (My relationship with him is also an example of my own making of my fate, right?)

Also I like to see him come in because he makes my boss squirm. And who wouldn’t want to see that?

By the way, I took this quiz, Which Action Hero are You???
And it turns out that I'm most like Neo, from the Matrix. That's crap!

Take the test and post what you got. Anything’s better than Keanu Reeves in sunglasses.