Try again/Fail.

No challenge today, kiddies. Take a break and play outside.

Today has been crammed full of shit, suctioned shut, and filled with more shit. I feel like I am nine knives flying through the air, almost but not just yet hitting their target; was that apparent in the opening?

One thing; I hate it when people give you just enough information so that you can start a task, but just little enough so that you do a bad job of it. (Brace yourselves for some complaining.) I have a temp job. It is quietly beginning to suck the life from the very inside of my bones. The people I work with are nice, I like them as people, honest. However (you knew the however was coming) I posit that spending years in an office job which doesn't greatly challenge the critical thinking skills you developed whilst reading Neitsche in college is BAD in the long run. Okay. This is the thing. We humans, we like to know where we stand in the hierarchical scheme of things. We need to feel like we're better than the people around us so, like Wiley Coyote, we throw grease on the road every chance we get.

So this is what happens. (This is an imaginary scenario, but it plays out about once a day, sometimes more, sometimes less, in my office.) Somebody gives me a task involving contacting people/shuffling through paperwork and logging that contact or paperwork somehow into a database. This is stuff that I'm good at, because I was a monkey in a former life. SO. The task is explained to me and demonstrated. I begin the task, and cruise through the stack of paper on my desk. I take a break and eat a banana, because that's what we monkeys do. Later in the day the task is re-assessed and it's discovered that many of the steps I was supposed to have taken were left out during the explanation phase of the task so now I have to go back and complete all the forgotten steps. But this part of the task is done in a weird "it's kind of your fault because you didn't assume we forgot to explain part of the process" way. Okay, no big deal, I hate feeling like I've messed something up, and I try to throw those feelings off my shoulders because, obviously, I haven't. So I restart the task in earnest, with a new desire to hold myself to exacting grammatical and punctuational (probably not a word) standards, because I enjoy punishing myself for wrongs that I did not commit. Then, usually five minutes later, some other forgotten detail is remembered, and shared with me in the same weird, guilty way.

It is at this point that I lose all propriety and start taking mothafuckas down.

YAR$%@#GHGLYARGH@#$!!!!!!!!!!!

My frustration has been building, and today has been like the culmination of the shit-tasticness of this "interim" period in my work history. Now that I've ranted, I feel better.

Tomorrow I plan on taking out the sailboat I built in my imagination when I was a kid and circumnavigating the globe. There will be so many places to visit and amazing people to meet! Would anyone like to join me?

=/ I feel so very disaffected.