I remember the night before the first day. Getting into my car in the driveway on Pleasant Street, I wore my sunglasses so that they couldn't see me crying. They knew anyway. The thing that killed me was hugging MLE -- like the last piece of safety before marching off to death.
It brings back snapshots of the half-boy story that Rudd used to tell us in class. How many times in this life do we cleave ourselves, only to find a better, stronger addition that is truer to what remains than what was cast off.
I don't know now if the change occurred gradually over weeks, or if it was like thunder and lightning and when I woke up that first morning it was to a new spirit. Sometimes overwhelming to think about. There is no point in writing because the words would cloud the simplicity of what I'm taking away from that place: the only thing that is stopping you is your mind. So cliche and common, but amazing in its accuracy. And you'll know it when you experience it -- and I hope that you do.
There is no time for insecurity. No second-guessing or doubt. Around the hill? No way! Over the hill? No way! Through the hill? My way! Through the hill? All day! Lead or follow, there is no way you'll fail if that's what you've decided.
Hang on tightly, let go lightly.
About Me
- porfiry
- The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure that it will kill you too, but there will be no special hurry.