Noticing my passing reflection in the window glass, it strikes me how much I look like my Bohemian grandfather. The long face and nose, high cheekbones and glacial eyes squinting against the sun, taking in the outside world and all its beauty. It occurs to me that body and soul are like a jigsaw puzzle of my ancestry; mother's hands, father's determination, grandfather's laugh, and the pride that so many generations have left me by giving me their name.
The good news came in like a tidal wave and for nearly a whole day I rode the tide above my terrestrial confines. I couldn't have realized how much of a relief it would be to just know concretely. No more of the "she's just part-time" to contextualize my reason for being. No more needing to qualify my purpose. I have a home now, and soon, a new oath, and I have never been as grateful for anything in my life. How important and meaningful things become when they're taken away -- you spend all of your energy working to get back to where you left off, and when you make the circuitous loop you can finally take a step back and see just how much strength you found along the way. Who carried you and to whom you offered your prayers. These things we only learn about ourselves during the trials.
Blessed Father, thank You for the many blessings that You have bestowed upon me. Thank You for giving me another chance, and for believing in me especially during the dark moments when I couldn't find the strength to believe in myself. May I ever be worthy of serving You, may I strive everyday to carry out Your mission here, as You do in Your realm. In all ways.... I am so incredibly thankful.
Hang on tightly, let go lightly.
About Me
- porfiry
- The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure that it will kill you too, but there will be no special hurry.